Good afternoon fellow Gooners.
I hope you're having a pleasant weekend (or if you're like me I hope you're enjoying being back at work after a boozy haze of a weekend which culminated in depositing the contents of your stomach into next door's rose bed!!!) Shhhhhhh don't tell the wife!!!
The most recent in a series of 'must win' games saw us travel to the Midlands yesterday. The Hawthorns is a difficult place to go these days. In fact West Brom have the third best home record in the Premiership behind only Manchesters United and City.
For most of the game we looked in control, and aside from a couple of nervy moments it seemed that the game was wrapped up and 3 points were going back down the M1 with us (unless the coach took a detour down the M6, or M5, or A1 or.......... ahem....... sorry I got a bit carried away there!!)
To call this match a game of two halves would do a dis-service to the Arsenal players and a massive credit to West Brom. The painful truth is that we are comfortable, dominant and in control until Mertesacker got sent off. Then the whole dynamic of the game changed and West Brom piled on the pressure and we retreated further and further back to the point where we were just smashing the ball downfield and hoping it wouldn't come back too quickly. Ironically many many teams have taken points off us in such a fashion so there was some kind of irony in us using that tactic ourselves.
Last week I blogged about the effect Rosicky has on the team. He's like a General, tired of ailing performances. He grabs everyone by the short and curlies and demands that they 'stiffen up that lip', 'put your boots on' and 'work for the team!' The crazy thing is that it works. Usually when our best players don't turn up the team struggles. Not so with Tomas. He will make up the shortfall himself, or he'll make someone else do it. Yesterday was a great example of this. Cazorla and Giroud were fairly quiet, so up popped Rosicky with 2 goals and 3 points are in the bag! He also made a goal line clearance worthy of a mention!!
Wenger started the game with the same line-up as the one which faced Reading. It was evident right from the kick off though that West Brom would be a different beast to face. Shane Long is one striker who I personally feel is under-rated. He never gives defenders a moments rest and wins more than his fair share of headers. He made his intentions pretty clear at the start of the game. Hanging off the last defender and causing all manner of mayhem.
There were a few nervy moments in the first half, including the Rosicky header off the line from a corner, and a couple of occasions where Fabianski came out to claim the ball and then forgot what the ball looked like. In fact we were very lucky to have not conceded. However we dragged ourselves back into the game and opened the scoring.
Gervinho (who is enjoying something of a purple patch of late) latched on to a stunning back-spin pass from Arteta. I wasn't aware that it was permitted to bring a lob-wedge onto the field but the way the ball held up for Gervinho was testament to the passing prowess of the immaculately coiffured Spaniard.
Gervinho danced and dribbled, dribbled and danced. The defender's legs got tied up like a bugs bunny cartoon and Gervinho crossed for Rosicky to head home from about 5 yards out.
There are some that will say Gervinho was aiming to shoot, but to me it looked like a cross, there didn't seem to be enough power or pace in the ball for it to have been a shot. Either way I don't care! It went in.
At that point Gervinho had scored 2 and assisted 2 in his last 2 hours on a football pitch! Nice one Yao!!!
Regular readers of this blog, and people who know me in general, will know that I love Aaron Ramsey. I will happily defend him with every breath in my body. However his miss just before half time was the stuff of nightmares. A wonderful showing of skill from Cazorla, Giroud and Ramsey pinged the ball between the entire West Brom defence and culminated in Ramsey being one on one with the keeper. A bit more composure from the Welshman would have seen a relatively simple tap in, unfortunately Ramsey's biggest weakness reared it's ugly head. From no more than 5 yard out he scuffed the ball wide of the post with Foster well beaten. I feel for Ramsey as he's constantly made out to be the scapegoat when things don't go our way but I think he's improved steadily and is now an important part of the squad. Sadly the one area where he hasn't improved is in his shooting. Vermaelen was able to mask over his defensive frailties by scoring a few goals here and there and I think Ramsey would certainly endear himself to the fans if he had a few goals here and there.
Half time came and went. I noticed a distinct lack of cheerleaders at The Hawthorns. I think this is something that should be brought into our game. I believe that a horde of scantily clad ladies would be just the thing to pull you out of the half-time gloom and perk you up ready for some more football action.
The second goal came after a decent spell for us. We broke down the right hand side with Ramsey. He waited for the arrival of Rosicky on the edge of the box and played an inch-perfect pass that allowed Rosicky to take the pace off the ball and volley it goalwards. Ben Foster made a complete hash of the save. It would have been easier to turn it over the bar, but instead he flapped a bit like Big Bird from Sesame Street and just let the ball drop back to Rosicky. The little Czech wizard needed no second invitation and smashed it back past Foster.
2-0. Game over.................. or so we thought!!!
Mertesacker and Koscielny have forged the beginnings of a great partnership recently. Kos has the pace and Merte reads the game well. So imagine the delight of Shane Long when Merte had a bit of a wander upfield. Morrison played a ball over the top and once you're in behind Merte, let's face it, you're not going to be caught. He is slower than most dead folk so I have no idea why he was playing so high, especially when the rest of the defence were a good 10 yards deeper! Anyway..................
Long got in behind Merte and was about to shoot when Merte hauled him down. Penalty! And a red card!
I can't really argue too much with the card or the foul. Howard Webb, for once, got a decision right. It was actually amazing that Webb had the time to see the foul bearing in mind he was so busy with intercepting our passes on West Brom's behalf!!!
Morrison took the spot-kick and frankly I was disappointed that Fabianski didn't save it. It was a poorly taken penalty that hit Fabianski on his leg, but the Pole allowed the ball to squirm under him.
2-1. Panic time!!!
Vermaelen came on to replace Rosicky, and later Coquelin and Gibbs came on for Gervinho and Cazorla. The final 25 minutes passed by in a haze of gulping down beer and chewing my fingernails off. West Brom bombarded us with the high ball which we didn't always deal with as well as we should have. Fabianski having the sun in his eyes probably didn't help but for a period it was real backs to the wall stuff.
We should also thank Lukaku, Long and MacAuley who managed to miss some sitters that made even Ramsey's look difficult.
In the end the performance wasn't the main thing. We went to The Hawthorns knowing that only 3 points would be good enough. We faced a tough spell and came out the other side. Rosicky was my man of the match but there were other notable praise-worthy candidates. Monreal is so calm, so collected I can scarcely believe we got him so cheaply. Koscielny is back to his best and, for me, showing that he's our best defender by some distance. Arteta is almost metronomic in his passing and the way he seems to sit up high pulling strings like some ethereal puppet master. The signs are good!!
Today we should offer a silent prayer to DiCanio and Moyes in the hope that they can smash up the Spuds and the Chavs. We're sitting pretty in 4th right now but obviously results today could send us back to 5th.
That's all for today guys and gals. Have a very pleasant Sunday and if you're from Stoke please FUCK OFF!!!!
Follow me on twitter @thedesertgooner.
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Reading Review / Returns for Ramsey & Rosicky
Good morning Arsenal fans across the globe.
It's been over two weeks since my last post. Apologies, a combination of having Pneumonia (literally - not just man-flu) and a birthday celebration which got waaaaaay out of hand left me bed-ridden for a long time!
Anyway, let's get some formalities out of the way before I continue. I have a few "FUCK OFFs" today. Firstly and probably most importantly a big FUCK OFF to Mordor's finest, 6-fingered band of merry Orcs!! I'm not sure if I've even had a single Stoke fan ever read this, but I like to cover every eventuality.
Secondly I have this to say to Stewart Robson "FUCK OFF!" Robson has been nothing more than a spiteful loudmouth in recent times, criticising anything and everything about the mighty Arsenal. Probably because he no longer has a job there!
Thirdly, to Tony Gale, "FUCK OFF!" you're a shit commentator, you were a shit player and you'll always be shit at everything you do. I hope your garden fence blows down because you didn't put it up properly and I hope your car blows up because you made a hash of changing the oil yourself. You're shit!
Lastly to Mr Piers Morgan. "FUCK OFF!" No one gives a toss what you think. You know nothing about the beautiful game and rather than being a fan you choose to do nothing other than criticise, then backtrack later after a player you just criticised comes good and makes you look like the fool you are! Also you were personally responsible for having several Arsenal players banned from the club and never even offered an apology after you were caught out lying. You are a CUNT. There. I've said it!
Wow! That felt good! I think two weeks of built up frustration just came out all at once!!!
Anyway let's move on!
Thankfully not a lot has happened since my last blog post. We beat Swansea, comfortably. Then we had a nice long break whilst all our players disappeared overseas and played for their countries for a while! Oddly enough with the exception of Theo they all came back in good health.
Also during the "Interlull" (copyright @arseblog - I think!) we got the sad news that Abou Diaby has damaged his Anterior Cruciate Ligament and will be out for nine months or so.
I must admit, Diaby isn't everyone's cup of tea, and at times I've been more than a little frustrated with him. But it's hard not to feel sad for a player who has essentially had his career ended by a thuggish Dan Smith tackle. Every subsequent injury has basically come as a result of the horrific ankle break and the poor guy just can't put a run of games together.
I'm going to justify my comment about his subsequent injuries because there are some that won't understand and I can't be bothered to argue the point later. For an injury such as Diaby's where it was an break, you naturally end up using the other leg to compensate whilst the injury is still tender. As a result your posture goes a little awry which has the knock on effects of causing subsequent injuries.
The reason Diaby's latest injury is so disappointing is because I'm almost certain that this will be the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't see a way back for him now. When you factor in the rehabilitation and the slow return to training I don't think he'll be back until at least a year has passed, which means it will be the end of the season next year.
If my info is correct this would leave him with just a year left on his contract, and with his kind of injury record I don't see him being given another one.
The real shame is that Diaby could have been our best player by a mile! He could have been our Yaya Toure, but better. Strength, technique, height, pace, control, an eye for a pass and a wicked shot he had almost all of it. Look at him at the start of the season. Look at him against Liverpool when he dominated the midfield. It's such a pity that he couldn't put together a string of games and regain total match fitness. Such a promising player and I do feel for him.
Yesterday we played the mighty Reading. Mighty being the most oxymoronic word I could have possibly used. "Kitten-like" would have been a more accurate description, as would "surrender-monkey". To say we didn't have to work hard to win 4-1 does a bit of dis-service to the lads but wouldn't be far off the mark.
Wenger started with Fabianski in goal and Mertescielny at centre back. Proof indeed that if you're doing the business on the pitch you'll keep your place. I like this new attitude. Too often Wenger has picked players because of who they are, not how well they've done. Vermaelen and Sczcesny look like they'll have to work hard to regain their places - and that's exactly how it should be!
Arteta, Ramsey and Rosicky provided the midfield balance with Santi and Gervinho on the wings and Giroud up front.
OK, here comes my moment of controversy. For me this was almost our best eleven. In fact if all players were fit the only one I'd bring into this lineup would be Wilshere for Ramsey. And that's not to say Ramsey is bad. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge lover of Ramsey. But it's Jack. And he has to play. Alongside Arteta.
Arsenal play better with Rosicky and Santi is more productive out wide than he is in the middle.
Now before you jump all over me let me explain a few things.
I'm not saying that Rosicky is a better player than Santi. But in terms of what he offers in the middle of the pitch he is a better player FOR ARSENAL.
We always play better when we defend high up the pitch. When we press right up to their keeper. No one does this better than Rosicky. He leads the charge and forces others to do the same. Not even Jack leads the pressing like Rosicky does.
Santi also benefits from a great partnership with Nacho. Previously we saw how Podolski and Gibbs had begin to get on the same wavelength and as a result our left hand side was a lot more solid than when Santi played with Gibbs or Podolski with Nacho. The same applies to the right hand side. Sagna and Gervinho have a much better understanding than Sagna and Theo or Jenks and Theo. Though this could simply be because Theo has no understanding of the defensive aspect of the game at all!!
The thing I loved about the match yesterday is that although we started out in a familiar 4-3-3 formation, we spent a large percentage of the game actually playing like a 4-4-2. Rosicky and Santi swapped positions all afternoon and popped up on both wings, and Gervinho was playing centrally a lot. The fluidity of the tactic made for sensational viewing. The pass and move looked to be back to where is was a few years ago. In fact the was a spell in the second half where Ramsey, Arteta, Rosicky and Santi moved the ball around like an energetic pinball machine, combining first time passes with great movement that saw them cut the Reading midfielders and defenders to shreds.
On that note it was of course very pleasing to see those 4 midfielders play they way they did. Ramsey is getting better and better with every game and is beginning to get the recognition he deserves. Santi and Rosicky were magnificent in driving the team forward but the man with the plan was Arteta. Like a puppet master he pulled the strings in midfield. Forwards and backwards he was outstanding. Completing 99 from 107 passes he led both teams in passing stats, but the key number was his passes in the final third. Completing 38 from 40 attempts he revelled in a slightly more forward role than usual.
I've always thought that Arteta's eye for a pass and his ability to distribute without conceding possession is wasted in a deeper role, but his ability to read the game so well defensively and make crucial interceptions, as well as always being available to take the ball from defenders means that he is equally useful in that role. Yesterday he showed both aspects of his game and was critical to our game plan. Also, unlike Vermaelen, he showed that the captain's armband should make you take your game even higher rather than wilting under the pressure.
Gervinho continues to split opinions like no other. Yesterday he played well and for me his contribution to the scoreline made him my Man Of The Match. A goal and two assists (for Santi and Giroud) topped off a day where he was a constant threat. Granted I still think he needs to work on his end product but you could say the same of Ox or Theo.
Giroud had a decent game too, He was involved in a lot of the play, held the ball up nicely and showed some good interplay with Rosicky, Gervinho and especially Santi. He took his goal nicely and it was great to see the relief on his face having gone so long without a league goal. I still think next season we'll see him on the scoreline more often but it would be unfair to criticise him too heavily for his performances in his maiden season.
I throughly enjoyed the game yesterday, though I still had two bones of contention.
Quite how referee Chris Foy failed to award a penalty for the bludgeon on Giroud by Ex-Gunner Stuart Taylor is anyone's guess. Taylor took out Giroud by the knees after Giroud had lifted the ball over him when clean through. I can understand the argument that Giroud probably wouldn't have got to the loose ball, but Taylor made no contact with it and wiped out the big Frenchmen.
Also the goal we conceded was just poor. Nacho lost his man at the back post for a simple header. However I have a feeling that when Fabianski sees the replay he won't be too happy himself since it was virtually on the line when the header was made and should have been claimed by him. That said, he'd barely touched the ball at that point and it's always difficult for a keeper to have to make reflex saves having not even seen the ball prior to that.
So anyway onwards and upwards. Chelski lost against Southampton which was nice to see. Although Monkey and the gang managed to beat Swansea 2-1 so retain their lead over us. Though we have a game in hand still. It means that if we win that game in hand we should be 2 points behind each of them (assuming Chelsea with their game in hand over Spurs too!) and they still have to play each other.
It looks as though 3rd spot is there for the taking. Chelsea have to play Spurs and Liverpool away (and the small matter of the cup replay against Man Utd) whereas Spurs have Chelsea and Man City. Our run-in is relatively easier, except for Man Utd at home, but let's not take that for granted because we've often struggled against teams we should be beating.
All things considered it's been a pretty good weekend football-wise. Confidence looks to be high and players are getting on the same wavelength at last. It's starting to get exciting!!!
Thanks for reading. Until the next time!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
It's been over two weeks since my last post. Apologies, a combination of having Pneumonia (literally - not just man-flu) and a birthday celebration which got waaaaaay out of hand left me bed-ridden for a long time!
Anyway, let's get some formalities out of the way before I continue. I have a few "FUCK OFFs" today. Firstly and probably most importantly a big FUCK OFF to Mordor's finest, 6-fingered band of merry Orcs!! I'm not sure if I've even had a single Stoke fan ever read this, but I like to cover every eventuality.
Secondly I have this to say to Stewart Robson "FUCK OFF!" Robson has been nothing more than a spiteful loudmouth in recent times, criticising anything and everything about the mighty Arsenal. Probably because he no longer has a job there!
Thirdly, to Tony Gale, "FUCK OFF!" you're a shit commentator, you were a shit player and you'll always be shit at everything you do. I hope your garden fence blows down because you didn't put it up properly and I hope your car blows up because you made a hash of changing the oil yourself. You're shit!
Lastly to Mr Piers Morgan. "FUCK OFF!" No one gives a toss what you think. You know nothing about the beautiful game and rather than being a fan you choose to do nothing other than criticise, then backtrack later after a player you just criticised comes good and makes you look like the fool you are! Also you were personally responsible for having several Arsenal players banned from the club and never even offered an apology after you were caught out lying. You are a CUNT. There. I've said it!
Wow! That felt good! I think two weeks of built up frustration just came out all at once!!!
Anyway let's move on!
Thankfully not a lot has happened since my last blog post. We beat Swansea, comfortably. Then we had a nice long break whilst all our players disappeared overseas and played for their countries for a while! Oddly enough with the exception of Theo they all came back in good health.
Also during the "Interlull" (copyright @arseblog - I think!) we got the sad news that Abou Diaby has damaged his Anterior Cruciate Ligament and will be out for nine months or so.
I must admit, Diaby isn't everyone's cup of tea, and at times I've been more than a little frustrated with him. But it's hard not to feel sad for a player who has essentially had his career ended by a thuggish Dan Smith tackle. Every subsequent injury has basically come as a result of the horrific ankle break and the poor guy just can't put a run of games together.
I'm going to justify my comment about his subsequent injuries because there are some that won't understand and I can't be bothered to argue the point later. For an injury such as Diaby's where it was an break, you naturally end up using the other leg to compensate whilst the injury is still tender. As a result your posture goes a little awry which has the knock on effects of causing subsequent injuries.
The reason Diaby's latest injury is so disappointing is because I'm almost certain that this will be the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't see a way back for him now. When you factor in the rehabilitation and the slow return to training I don't think he'll be back until at least a year has passed, which means it will be the end of the season next year.
If my info is correct this would leave him with just a year left on his contract, and with his kind of injury record I don't see him being given another one.
The real shame is that Diaby could have been our best player by a mile! He could have been our Yaya Toure, but better. Strength, technique, height, pace, control, an eye for a pass and a wicked shot he had almost all of it. Look at him at the start of the season. Look at him against Liverpool when he dominated the midfield. It's such a pity that he couldn't put together a string of games and regain total match fitness. Such a promising player and I do feel for him.
Yesterday we played the mighty Reading. Mighty being the most oxymoronic word I could have possibly used. "Kitten-like" would have been a more accurate description, as would "surrender-monkey". To say we didn't have to work hard to win 4-1 does a bit of dis-service to the lads but wouldn't be far off the mark.
Wenger started with Fabianski in goal and Mertescielny at centre back. Proof indeed that if you're doing the business on the pitch you'll keep your place. I like this new attitude. Too often Wenger has picked players because of who they are, not how well they've done. Vermaelen and Sczcesny look like they'll have to work hard to regain their places - and that's exactly how it should be!
Arteta, Ramsey and Rosicky provided the midfield balance with Santi and Gervinho on the wings and Giroud up front.
OK, here comes my moment of controversy. For me this was almost our best eleven. In fact if all players were fit the only one I'd bring into this lineup would be Wilshere for Ramsey. And that's not to say Ramsey is bad. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge lover of Ramsey. But it's Jack. And he has to play. Alongside Arteta.
Arsenal play better with Rosicky and Santi is more productive out wide than he is in the middle.
Now before you jump all over me let me explain a few things.
I'm not saying that Rosicky is a better player than Santi. But in terms of what he offers in the middle of the pitch he is a better player FOR ARSENAL.
We always play better when we defend high up the pitch. When we press right up to their keeper. No one does this better than Rosicky. He leads the charge and forces others to do the same. Not even Jack leads the pressing like Rosicky does.
Santi also benefits from a great partnership with Nacho. Previously we saw how Podolski and Gibbs had begin to get on the same wavelength and as a result our left hand side was a lot more solid than when Santi played with Gibbs or Podolski with Nacho. The same applies to the right hand side. Sagna and Gervinho have a much better understanding than Sagna and Theo or Jenks and Theo. Though this could simply be because Theo has no understanding of the defensive aspect of the game at all!!
The thing I loved about the match yesterday is that although we started out in a familiar 4-3-3 formation, we spent a large percentage of the game actually playing like a 4-4-2. Rosicky and Santi swapped positions all afternoon and popped up on both wings, and Gervinho was playing centrally a lot. The fluidity of the tactic made for sensational viewing. The pass and move looked to be back to where is was a few years ago. In fact the was a spell in the second half where Ramsey, Arteta, Rosicky and Santi moved the ball around like an energetic pinball machine, combining first time passes with great movement that saw them cut the Reading midfielders and defenders to shreds.
On that note it was of course very pleasing to see those 4 midfielders play they way they did. Ramsey is getting better and better with every game and is beginning to get the recognition he deserves. Santi and Rosicky were magnificent in driving the team forward but the man with the plan was Arteta. Like a puppet master he pulled the strings in midfield. Forwards and backwards he was outstanding. Completing 99 from 107 passes he led both teams in passing stats, but the key number was his passes in the final third. Completing 38 from 40 attempts he revelled in a slightly more forward role than usual.
I've always thought that Arteta's eye for a pass and his ability to distribute without conceding possession is wasted in a deeper role, but his ability to read the game so well defensively and make crucial interceptions, as well as always being available to take the ball from defenders means that he is equally useful in that role. Yesterday he showed both aspects of his game and was critical to our game plan. Also, unlike Vermaelen, he showed that the captain's armband should make you take your game even higher rather than wilting under the pressure.
Gervinho continues to split opinions like no other. Yesterday he played well and for me his contribution to the scoreline made him my Man Of The Match. A goal and two assists (for Santi and Giroud) topped off a day where he was a constant threat. Granted I still think he needs to work on his end product but you could say the same of Ox or Theo.
Giroud had a decent game too, He was involved in a lot of the play, held the ball up nicely and showed some good interplay with Rosicky, Gervinho and especially Santi. He took his goal nicely and it was great to see the relief on his face having gone so long without a league goal. I still think next season we'll see him on the scoreline more often but it would be unfair to criticise him too heavily for his performances in his maiden season.
I throughly enjoyed the game yesterday, though I still had two bones of contention.
Quite how referee Chris Foy failed to award a penalty for the bludgeon on Giroud by Ex-Gunner Stuart Taylor is anyone's guess. Taylor took out Giroud by the knees after Giroud had lifted the ball over him when clean through. I can understand the argument that Giroud probably wouldn't have got to the loose ball, but Taylor made no contact with it and wiped out the big Frenchmen.
Also the goal we conceded was just poor. Nacho lost his man at the back post for a simple header. However I have a feeling that when Fabianski sees the replay he won't be too happy himself since it was virtually on the line when the header was made and should have been claimed by him. That said, he'd barely touched the ball at that point and it's always difficult for a keeper to have to make reflex saves having not even seen the ball prior to that.
So anyway onwards and upwards. Chelski lost against Southampton which was nice to see. Although Monkey and the gang managed to beat Swansea 2-1 so retain their lead over us. Though we have a game in hand still. It means that if we win that game in hand we should be 2 points behind each of them (assuming Chelsea with their game in hand over Spurs too!) and they still have to play each other.
It looks as though 3rd spot is there for the taking. Chelsea have to play Spurs and Liverpool away (and the small matter of the cup replay against Man Utd) whereas Spurs have Chelsea and Man City. Our run-in is relatively easier, except for Man Utd at home, but let's not take that for granted because we've often struggled against teams we should be beating.
All things considered it's been a pretty good weekend football-wise. Confidence looks to be high and players are getting on the same wavelength at last. It's starting to get exciting!!!
Thanks for reading. Until the next time!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Pride, Passion and a Prick of a ref!
Well, well, well!
Arsenal are out of the Champions League. Again.
However this time, just like last year, we came so close to achieving the impossible.
Heads should be held high, confidence restored and pride shown in abundance.
Before last night's game Bayern had scored in 44 consecutive games and hadn't lost at the Allianz Arena since the Champions League final last year.
We knew we were up against it.
The German media were saying that we shouldn't even bother. The British media suggested that we should rest key players ahead of the Premiership run in. There was no way we'd get anything out of the game so why not focus on the league?
How wrong they were.
Wenger named an energetic and athletic team with one goal in mind. Get something out of the game. In came Fabianski, Gibbs, Koscielny and Rosicky. Out went Szczesny, Vermaelen, Wilshere and Podolski.
I must admit I was a little nervous at having Fabianksi in the line-up. Lord knows he hasn't exactly covered himself in glory. But I agreed with the sentiment that Szczesny has been in a run of poor form and it would do him good to realise that his place in the team is not a guarantee. The same goes for Vermaelen who seems to be playing off the back of reputation of late.
I'm a huge fan of Rosicky and what he brings to the table so I had no worries there.
We couldn't have asked for a better start. Merely 3 minutes into the game Cazorla played a deft pass between two midfielders and found Ramsey, he advanced 10 yards before squaring to Rosicky. The Little Maestro played a perfect first-touch pass into the path of Walcott who drilled the ball across goal and Giroud was there to smash the ball in from 3 yards. GAME ON!!!
At that point you just knew something was about to happen. The Bayern crowd was silenced and the effect on the Bayern players was incredible. They were shell-shocked. All of a sudden the Arsenal players' confidence sky-rocketed. We knew they were there for the taking.
You could hear a pin drop in the Allianz Arena.
The next 20 minutes or so became a little scrappy with both teams conceding possession a little cheaply. We were guilty of a lot of unforced errors. Rosicky and Ramsey in particular kept passing the ball straight out of play.
Having said that part of the reason the game was so scrappy was down to the referee. I'm not going to suggest he showed bias toward either team particularly, and I'm certainly not going to suggest that the result was affected by him, however I've never seen such an inept performance at such a high level. It was like he was being paid a bonus by UEFA based upon the number of times he blew his whistle.
During the 90 minutes he blew for 38 fouls and dished out 9 yellow cards. In reality there were only around 10 fouls that were worthy of a free kick and only 2 of the yellow cards were justified in my opinion. There were also a number of blatant fouls that were completely overlooked. For example Giroud was penalised for backing into Dante whilst challenging for a header. Less than two minutes later the Brazilian did exactly the same thing in return but play-on was called!!!
Bayern were truly awful in the first 45 minutes. They seemed to have decided that the tie was won already and that all they had to do was not concede. In truth they didn't really threaten Fabianski's goal at all during the first half. They were slow and played the majority of their passes backwards. In fact Manuel Neuer probably received more passes than Mandzukic did up front.
Half time arrived and there was a feeling that we should have capitalised more on Bayern's reluctance to play football. Nevertheless at half time we were in a commanding position.
The Bayern players obviously got a thorough dressing down during the half-time break because they came out with renewed vigour and started to cause us some problems. Both Kroos and Robben had a number of long-ranged efforts that went high and wide, but had either player brought their shooting boots we could have conceded at least twice during the first 10 minutes of the half.
We settled down again and started to get our passing going. Again there were a lot of unforced errors and we didn't really take advantage of some openings. Our reluctance to shoot from long range is well documented and I'd live to know the reasoning behind it! Players like Cazorla, Rosicky, Giroud and Arteta have bullet shots that could trouble any keeper, but it seems as though we're coached not to shoot.
There was a heart in mouth moment midway through the half when Gibbs was caught out and Robben raced clear, but Fabianski stood tall and made a superb save to deny the diving Dutchman. It was actually interesting to watch Robben as he flapped and flailed and fell over time and time again. I hate diving in the game. It really annoys me that grown men act as though they've been shot in the guts. Robben could well be the worst culprit in international football for this. In fact in the space of about 12 minutes he won 7 free kicks, most of which involved less contact and force than the average sneeze!
On 72 minutes Arsene Wenger made his only tactical change of the night. Walcott and Ramsey were replaced by Oxlade-Chamberlain and Gervinho. Now I can accept that Walcott didn't have a great night. In fact other than the pass for Giroud's goal I can't remember him offering any contributions worth mentioning. It's sad that since the signing of the new contract Theo's effectiveness has declined rapidly. That said, I don't understand the logic of replacing a player who CAN affect a game. Walcott's biggest asset is his pace, defenders worldwide are terrified of pace. Keeping Theo on the pitch would have occupied at least one defender who would want to keep eyes on him constantly. Personally I'd have taken Arteta off and dropped Rosicky back a bit then played with Giroud and Theo in the middle with Ox and Gervinho out wide and Santi just behind the strikers. But what do I know eh?
As it happens Gervinho almost scored within minutes of coming on. Taking a pass from Rosicky he executed the most exquisite of turns which left the defenders in trouble, sadly the ball ran away from him and he could only toe-poke it wide. Had someone been following in, it would have resulted in the simplest of tap-ins but no one gambled.
Then in the 86th minute we won a corner on the far side. Santi crossed in and Koscielny nodded in a tremendous header, the strength showed was incredible and extra credit should be given when you realise that he was basically carrying Dante like a rucksack by the time the ball arrived.
Then all hell broke loose. Manuel Neuer jumped up and literally dived on the ball so that we couldn't retrieve it and get the game restarted. He actually looked like an old war hero, diving to smother a grenade and protect his squad mates! Giroud and Koscielncy both went to get the ball from him and within seconds there was an 8 man ruck going off in the Bayern net. Predictably the referee chose to book Koscielny and let Neuer off with the worst time-wasting episode seen since the Ballboy-gate episode at Swansea!!!
Unfortunately we then got a little sloppy. After the restart we committed a series of needless fouls which allowed Bayern to run down the clock. Mikel Arteta was the biggest culprit. We had a free kick of our own pretty much right on 90 minutes but Arteta overhit it and no one could get anywhere near it. Bayern then simply wasted time down in the corners with Robben a more than willing participant in some diving hijinks.
The whistle was blown and we were out. The sight of the linesmen laughing and joking with the Bayern players was difficult to take, particularly bearing in mid the referee's performance but ultimately we had fallen short.
The players looked absolutely distraught and you could tell they knew how close they'd come.
The majority of the boys had played their hearts out and put their bodies on the line time and time again. The back 5 were absolutely immense, every single one of them was colossal. Jenkinson and Gibbs made Robben look average. Ramsey rans his socks off and put in some crucial tackles. Rosicky never stopped chasing the ball down and pressing the Bayern defenders. It's such a shame that Cazorla and Walcott didn't really join the party. Had they both had a good game I think we could have been looking forward to the draw for the last 8. Arteta was also unusually quiet but it feels so picky to criticise after a performance like that.
We were superb, we put in the kind of performance that we've been begging for in recent times and I don't want to single anyone out for criticism. We defended as a team and never really looked like conceding. Fabianski led and marshalled the defence superbly as well as making a couple of decent saves. Mertesacker and Koscielny looked like they'd been playing together for years - on that note it is obvious that Koscielny is the best centre half at the club. He should be allowed to continue in the team and to bring Vermaelen back in now would be a grave injustice to how confident and assured Koscielny was last night. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. So cometh Laurent!!
A moment of personal note for Carl Jenkinson too. He has now played 532 minutes of Champions League football and has not lost a single contested tackle! 100% perfect. Nice one Jenks!
Of course we're disappointed to be out of the competition but at least we went out fighting and the knock on effect of this game could be massive. Remember we didn't just beat Bayern (who are touted as one of the top 3 teams in Europe) we outplayed, out thought, out hustled, out worked and out fought them. We were immense. We were The Arsenal!
Finally for today I'd like to acknowledge the contribution of Arsene Wenger. He's taken a lot of criticism of late, some of it deserved, some of it out of order. He showed last night that he's still got the tools to do the job. This is arguably the worst Arsenal side under Wenger and we went and beat the best Bayern side in a long long time.
We showed not just current ability but also a sense of things to come. If we can keep this squad together and add a couple of influential and exciting players then I do think the hunt for silverware will be ended sooner rather than later.
Before the game Wenger demanded a performance.
He damn well got one!!
Have a great weekend folks!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
Arsenal are out of the Champions League. Again.
However this time, just like last year, we came so close to achieving the impossible.
Heads should be held high, confidence restored and pride shown in abundance.
Before last night's game Bayern had scored in 44 consecutive games and hadn't lost at the Allianz Arena since the Champions League final last year.
We knew we were up against it.
The German media were saying that we shouldn't even bother. The British media suggested that we should rest key players ahead of the Premiership run in. There was no way we'd get anything out of the game so why not focus on the league?
How wrong they were.
Wenger named an energetic and athletic team with one goal in mind. Get something out of the game. In came Fabianski, Gibbs, Koscielny and Rosicky. Out went Szczesny, Vermaelen, Wilshere and Podolski.
I must admit I was a little nervous at having Fabianksi in the line-up. Lord knows he hasn't exactly covered himself in glory. But I agreed with the sentiment that Szczesny has been in a run of poor form and it would do him good to realise that his place in the team is not a guarantee. The same goes for Vermaelen who seems to be playing off the back of reputation of late.
I'm a huge fan of Rosicky and what he brings to the table so I had no worries there.
We couldn't have asked for a better start. Merely 3 minutes into the game Cazorla played a deft pass between two midfielders and found Ramsey, he advanced 10 yards before squaring to Rosicky. The Little Maestro played a perfect first-touch pass into the path of Walcott who drilled the ball across goal and Giroud was there to smash the ball in from 3 yards. GAME ON!!!
At that point you just knew something was about to happen. The Bayern crowd was silenced and the effect on the Bayern players was incredible. They were shell-shocked. All of a sudden the Arsenal players' confidence sky-rocketed. We knew they were there for the taking.
You could hear a pin drop in the Allianz Arena.
The next 20 minutes or so became a little scrappy with both teams conceding possession a little cheaply. We were guilty of a lot of unforced errors. Rosicky and Ramsey in particular kept passing the ball straight out of play.
Having said that part of the reason the game was so scrappy was down to the referee. I'm not going to suggest he showed bias toward either team particularly, and I'm certainly not going to suggest that the result was affected by him, however I've never seen such an inept performance at such a high level. It was like he was being paid a bonus by UEFA based upon the number of times he blew his whistle.
During the 90 minutes he blew for 38 fouls and dished out 9 yellow cards. In reality there were only around 10 fouls that were worthy of a free kick and only 2 of the yellow cards were justified in my opinion. There were also a number of blatant fouls that were completely overlooked. For example Giroud was penalised for backing into Dante whilst challenging for a header. Less than two minutes later the Brazilian did exactly the same thing in return but play-on was called!!!
Bayern were truly awful in the first 45 minutes. They seemed to have decided that the tie was won already and that all they had to do was not concede. In truth they didn't really threaten Fabianski's goal at all during the first half. They were slow and played the majority of their passes backwards. In fact Manuel Neuer probably received more passes than Mandzukic did up front.
Half time arrived and there was a feeling that we should have capitalised more on Bayern's reluctance to play football. Nevertheless at half time we were in a commanding position.
The Bayern players obviously got a thorough dressing down during the half-time break because they came out with renewed vigour and started to cause us some problems. Both Kroos and Robben had a number of long-ranged efforts that went high and wide, but had either player brought their shooting boots we could have conceded at least twice during the first 10 minutes of the half.
We settled down again and started to get our passing going. Again there were a lot of unforced errors and we didn't really take advantage of some openings. Our reluctance to shoot from long range is well documented and I'd live to know the reasoning behind it! Players like Cazorla, Rosicky, Giroud and Arteta have bullet shots that could trouble any keeper, but it seems as though we're coached not to shoot.
There was a heart in mouth moment midway through the half when Gibbs was caught out and Robben raced clear, but Fabianski stood tall and made a superb save to deny the diving Dutchman. It was actually interesting to watch Robben as he flapped and flailed and fell over time and time again. I hate diving in the game. It really annoys me that grown men act as though they've been shot in the guts. Robben could well be the worst culprit in international football for this. In fact in the space of about 12 minutes he won 7 free kicks, most of which involved less contact and force than the average sneeze!
On 72 minutes Arsene Wenger made his only tactical change of the night. Walcott and Ramsey were replaced by Oxlade-Chamberlain and Gervinho. Now I can accept that Walcott didn't have a great night. In fact other than the pass for Giroud's goal I can't remember him offering any contributions worth mentioning. It's sad that since the signing of the new contract Theo's effectiveness has declined rapidly. That said, I don't understand the logic of replacing a player who CAN affect a game. Walcott's biggest asset is his pace, defenders worldwide are terrified of pace. Keeping Theo on the pitch would have occupied at least one defender who would want to keep eyes on him constantly. Personally I'd have taken Arteta off and dropped Rosicky back a bit then played with Giroud and Theo in the middle with Ox and Gervinho out wide and Santi just behind the strikers. But what do I know eh?
As it happens Gervinho almost scored within minutes of coming on. Taking a pass from Rosicky he executed the most exquisite of turns which left the defenders in trouble, sadly the ball ran away from him and he could only toe-poke it wide. Had someone been following in, it would have resulted in the simplest of tap-ins but no one gambled.
Then in the 86th minute we won a corner on the far side. Santi crossed in and Koscielny nodded in a tremendous header, the strength showed was incredible and extra credit should be given when you realise that he was basically carrying Dante like a rucksack by the time the ball arrived.
Then all hell broke loose. Manuel Neuer jumped up and literally dived on the ball so that we couldn't retrieve it and get the game restarted. He actually looked like an old war hero, diving to smother a grenade and protect his squad mates! Giroud and Koscielncy both went to get the ball from him and within seconds there was an 8 man ruck going off in the Bayern net. Predictably the referee chose to book Koscielny and let Neuer off with the worst time-wasting episode seen since the Ballboy-gate episode at Swansea!!!
Unfortunately we then got a little sloppy. After the restart we committed a series of needless fouls which allowed Bayern to run down the clock. Mikel Arteta was the biggest culprit. We had a free kick of our own pretty much right on 90 minutes but Arteta overhit it and no one could get anywhere near it. Bayern then simply wasted time down in the corners with Robben a more than willing participant in some diving hijinks.
The whistle was blown and we were out. The sight of the linesmen laughing and joking with the Bayern players was difficult to take, particularly bearing in mid the referee's performance but ultimately we had fallen short.
The players looked absolutely distraught and you could tell they knew how close they'd come.
The majority of the boys had played their hearts out and put their bodies on the line time and time again. The back 5 were absolutely immense, every single one of them was colossal. Jenkinson and Gibbs made Robben look average. Ramsey rans his socks off and put in some crucial tackles. Rosicky never stopped chasing the ball down and pressing the Bayern defenders. It's such a shame that Cazorla and Walcott didn't really join the party. Had they both had a good game I think we could have been looking forward to the draw for the last 8. Arteta was also unusually quiet but it feels so picky to criticise after a performance like that.
We were superb, we put in the kind of performance that we've been begging for in recent times and I don't want to single anyone out for criticism. We defended as a team and never really looked like conceding. Fabianski led and marshalled the defence superbly as well as making a couple of decent saves. Mertesacker and Koscielny looked like they'd been playing together for years - on that note it is obvious that Koscielny is the best centre half at the club. He should be allowed to continue in the team and to bring Vermaelen back in now would be a grave injustice to how confident and assured Koscielny was last night. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. So cometh Laurent!!
A moment of personal note for Carl Jenkinson too. He has now played 532 minutes of Champions League football and has not lost a single contested tackle! 100% perfect. Nice one Jenks!
Of course we're disappointed to be out of the competition but at least we went out fighting and the knock on effect of this game could be massive. Remember we didn't just beat Bayern (who are touted as one of the top 3 teams in Europe) we outplayed, out thought, out hustled, out worked and out fought them. We were immense. We were The Arsenal!
Finally for today I'd like to acknowledge the contribution of Arsene Wenger. He's taken a lot of criticism of late, some of it deserved, some of it out of order. He showed last night that he's still got the tools to do the job. This is arguably the worst Arsenal side under Wenger and we went and beat the best Bayern side in a long long time.
We showed not just current ability but also a sense of things to come. If we can keep this squad together and add a couple of influential and exciting players then I do think the hunt for silverware will be ended sooner rather than later.
Before the game Wenger demanded a performance.
He damn well got one!!
Have a great weekend folks!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Bayern Preview / Lionel Messi to sign for Rotherham?
Good morning loyal Arsenal fans. What a beautiful morning it is!
The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky and we have Bayern Munich to look forward to this evening.
For any readers who aren't in Dubai right now you may find this confusing as you look out over your snow-covered gardens or wind-swept yards!! Don't worry though, don't feel bad. In a few months you guys will be perfectly comfortable with your local temperatures whilst my face will be melting off at the merest of contacts with the sunshine!!
It's been a while since I last posted my blog. A combination of heavy nights out followed by a bout of the flu have basically meant that I couldn't bring myself to sit and type for long enough to put anything together worth reading!!
Whilst we're on the subject of the flu it's worth pointing out that the particular strain I have is the more deadly "man-flu". Any ladies reading will be completely unable to relate to the pain and discomfort of this virus since you'll never get it. And be thankful for that!! Man-Flu has been known to wipe out civilisations and armies. It is widely accepted in the medical world as being almost as destructive as cancer, and leaves its sufferers in more pain than someone whose parachute didn't open after a particularly high fall! You ladies call it a cold, but my doctor reliably informs me that I may not make it through the night!!!!!
P.S. Anyone who thinks I'm genuinely comparing the flu to Cancer should stop reading for the rest of eternity!!!
Moving on..........
Any Stoke fans about? FUCK OFF!
Tonight the mighty Arsenal travel to Munich hoping to salvage something from a game which in my opinion we lost a long time ago. It's nice to hear Arsene Wenger saying that there will be tactical changes and that we're going to go out and have a real go at it. But really? Arsene's idea of a tactical change would be making a substitution 5 minutes earlier than usual!!
That said I do want us to go out and have a go. Arsenal are still a force in world football when we turn up the intensity. In fact when we're really on our game we can literally beat anyone.
Both Thomas Vermaelen and Mikel Arteta have done interviews recently where they have said we're not performing to the best of our abilities, they went on to say that 4th place is not what we're aiming for, we should be aiming higher.
That's all well and good lads, but how is this different to the thousands of interviews done every week where an Arsenal player says we're not performing well enough?? How about instead of talking about it you go out and do it??? Now Arteta I can forgive because his bad performances are few and far between. But Vermaelen has been poor for a while now. In fact, calling Vermaelen poor is rather harsh on the word poor. He's been sloppy, careless and looks de-motivated. He should have been dropped a long time ago to get his head cleared and come back and make a statement on the pitch. But it is difficult to drop your captain - it shouldn't be, but it is! Wenger has showed him a lot of faith and it's time for some payback.
This time last year I was comparing Vermaelen to Kompany and saying that he was one of the best defenders in the world - oh how the times have changed!!
We will line up against Bayern without several key players, including one who apparently is out here in Dubai chillaxing. In fact according to a friend of mine Jack Wilshere has been squatting in his guest room emptying the fridge and drinking all his Bacardi Breezers! I'm not sure what to make of this information, I always had Jack down as a WKD man!!
Jack, Sagna, Podolski and Szczesny are all rumoured to be out of the squad tonight. Interestingly Szczesny is the one player on the list who isn't injured. The talk is that he's been dropped in favour of Fabianski.
I like the sentiment. Szczesny has been out of form for a few games now and it's important for players to know that they are not indispensable. However in a game we must win and must keep a clean sheet, I have to question the timing. Fabianski is not exactly a confidence inspiring deputy, and it's no co-incidence that he hasn't recorded a single minute of league of Champions League football yet this season.
There is some potential good news though as it is rumoured that Gibbs may well be back from his latest 2-3 weeks out and could play.
I think this game, more than any other is an opportunity for the players to show just how good a team spirit and mental strength we actually have at the club. I've been quite critical of the players recently because I genuinely don't believe that Wenger can be held accountable for everything. Yes he picks the team and yes he chooses the tactics. But once the players get on the pitch they have a responsibility to carry out his instructions. There's no way Wenger sends his players out and says "Right guys, tonight I want you to play badly, give the ball away lots and defend like you're scared of the 18 yard line." Likewise there's no way he pulls Theo and Giroud to one side before a game and says "Forget being sharp up front tonight. I want you to be as blunt as a eunuch's cock!"
It just doesn't happen.
The players are not giving their all right now, and that's where the mental strength comes in. It's easy to let your head drop after a loss, the trick is picking it back up again. Wenger defends the team like no other manager in the world. He shoulders the blame and takes all the criticism. That's admirable in a way but he's entitled for some loyalty and payback from the players for that.
Tonight would be the perfect opportunity for them to show whether they're up for the fight.
If we're going to have a real go at Bayern then I think our line up and formation need tweaking. We need to set our stall out to attack from the first whistle to the last, and when we don't have the ball we need to press as a single unit all the way up the pitch.
For what it's worth I'd like to see us line up like this tonight:-
Flappy-Handski
Gibbs Koscielny Mertesacker Jenkinson
Arteta
Oxlade-Chamberlain Cazorla
Rosicky
Walcott Giroud
I think that Giroud and Walcott could dovetail perfectly. Giroud wins more than his fair share of flick ons but no one ever gambles and tries to run in behind to capitalise on them. If Walcott started up top then that would be his responsibility, one flick on and Theo would be clear - and there's no one gonna catch him if he does.
I'm happy enough to let Arteta sit deep and pull the strings, when we have possession then Cazorla and Ox can push wider to stretch their defence but when defending they can tuck in and make the midfield more compact.
Rosicky is more than capable of picking a key pass, but more importantly has more energy than Cazorla when harrying the opposition into giving the ball back. He also loves to drive directly at defenders in the way that Jack does and this can result in a lot of free kicks for us around the edge of the Bayern penalty area.
Options from the bench could be Coquelin - if we manage to get the goals we need he's great at protecting the back four. Gervinho - no one has a clue what he's going to do next, not even himself. Ramsey - because there are still 3 positions he hasn't played yet this year so he might as well get the full house, but also because he has great energy levels and can replace Rosicky if the Little Maestro runs out of steam.
But here's the thing. I'm not stupid enough to think that Wenger will even consider this. We'll likely play our usual 4-3-3. Vermaelen will play because he's the captain. Theo will be out wide. Cazorla will be behind Giroud and Gervinho will likely start wide left.
Personally I'm not sure what tactical changes we'll see tonight, but I don't expect any major surprises.
As long as the players go out and give it everything then I'll be happy. If we win 1-0 and hit the post a few times, or Neuer has a stormer then we can't ask for much more. If, however our strongest team goes out there and capitulates then I think it will speak volumes about the Boss' ability to get the best out of his players. At the end of the day motivation is only partly the manager's responsibility. A player who doesn't want to play is not going to perform well no matter who his manager is. More importantly though, any player who can't motivate themselves to get excited about a Champions League doesn't deserve to be paid a salary. Particularly when a good performance can lead to a lucrative quarter-final spot.
Actually my personal opinion is that a player who can't motivate himself EVERY time he pulls on the shirt should be sacked. Poor performances are part and parcel of the game. Every player has them, however the one thing that cannot be excused is lack of effort. If you lose the ball then you damn well go and get it back. Most fans can accept a poor performance if you at least show that you worked your bollocks off. Players that don't work for the team don't deserve to play for the team.
A lot of Arsenal fans will be on the edge of their seats this evening and rightly so. The knock on effect if we pull off this Houdini-esque escape will be massive. It's unlikely, I get that but nothing is impossible. We are a team capable of scoring goals, unfortunately we're leakier at the back than a nappy with a hole in it! Thankfully tonight is all about goals scored and less about goals conceded. We need to score a minimum of 3. But if we can get a 4th then Bayern have to come back with 2 of their own. Away goals could very well come into play tonight. I, for one, will probably be biting my nails well into the wee small hours of the morning (remembering that because of the time difference the match kicks off at midnight here!) But there's a part of me that refuses to believe that this tie is over. It maybe the deadly man-flu and all the lemsips talking but I think we have a real chance of we can surprise them and attack right from the start.
Rounding up some news pieces that have been doing the rounds over the last couple of weeks, apparently we've been linked with around 40 or so players. Including 32 never-heard-of French teenagers!! We're also bringing back Nasri if reports are to be believed. Also Lukas Podolski is leaving. He's going to Roma in a straight swap for several pizzas and a tub of their finest Gelato!
I honestly wonder whether journalists actually do any journalism these days. All that seems to happen is one paper makes up a story which the other papers pick up on and just re-hash over and over again. Rooney is leaving Man Utd for 20m. Falcao is joining Man City for 50m. Cavani is heading to Milan. Messi is joining Rotherham United, Iniesta will be captaining Burton Albion and Pepe is hanging up his football boots in order to pursue a budding Ice Hockey career with the San Jose sharks! I mean really???
Anyway guys and gals, that's all I have for you today. Back tomorrow with a, no doubt, scathing attack on why we got our asses handed to us later tonight.
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky and we have Bayern Munich to look forward to this evening.
For any readers who aren't in Dubai right now you may find this confusing as you look out over your snow-covered gardens or wind-swept yards!! Don't worry though, don't feel bad. In a few months you guys will be perfectly comfortable with your local temperatures whilst my face will be melting off at the merest of contacts with the sunshine!!
It's been a while since I last posted my blog. A combination of heavy nights out followed by a bout of the flu have basically meant that I couldn't bring myself to sit and type for long enough to put anything together worth reading!!
Whilst we're on the subject of the flu it's worth pointing out that the particular strain I have is the more deadly "man-flu". Any ladies reading will be completely unable to relate to the pain and discomfort of this virus since you'll never get it. And be thankful for that!! Man-Flu has been known to wipe out civilisations and armies. It is widely accepted in the medical world as being almost as destructive as cancer, and leaves its sufferers in more pain than someone whose parachute didn't open after a particularly high fall! You ladies call it a cold, but my doctor reliably informs me that I may not make it through the night!!!!!
P.S. Anyone who thinks I'm genuinely comparing the flu to Cancer should stop reading for the rest of eternity!!!
Moving on..........
Any Stoke fans about? FUCK OFF!
Tonight the mighty Arsenal travel to Munich hoping to salvage something from a game which in my opinion we lost a long time ago. It's nice to hear Arsene Wenger saying that there will be tactical changes and that we're going to go out and have a real go at it. But really? Arsene's idea of a tactical change would be making a substitution 5 minutes earlier than usual!!
That said I do want us to go out and have a go. Arsenal are still a force in world football when we turn up the intensity. In fact when we're really on our game we can literally beat anyone.
Both Thomas Vermaelen and Mikel Arteta have done interviews recently where they have said we're not performing to the best of our abilities, they went on to say that 4th place is not what we're aiming for, we should be aiming higher.
That's all well and good lads, but how is this different to the thousands of interviews done every week where an Arsenal player says we're not performing well enough?? How about instead of talking about it you go out and do it??? Now Arteta I can forgive because his bad performances are few and far between. But Vermaelen has been poor for a while now. In fact, calling Vermaelen poor is rather harsh on the word poor. He's been sloppy, careless and looks de-motivated. He should have been dropped a long time ago to get his head cleared and come back and make a statement on the pitch. But it is difficult to drop your captain - it shouldn't be, but it is! Wenger has showed him a lot of faith and it's time for some payback.
This time last year I was comparing Vermaelen to Kompany and saying that he was one of the best defenders in the world - oh how the times have changed!!
We will line up against Bayern without several key players, including one who apparently is out here in Dubai chillaxing. In fact according to a friend of mine Jack Wilshere has been squatting in his guest room emptying the fridge and drinking all his Bacardi Breezers! I'm not sure what to make of this information, I always had Jack down as a WKD man!!
Jack, Sagna, Podolski and Szczesny are all rumoured to be out of the squad tonight. Interestingly Szczesny is the one player on the list who isn't injured. The talk is that he's been dropped in favour of Fabianski.
I like the sentiment. Szczesny has been out of form for a few games now and it's important for players to know that they are not indispensable. However in a game we must win and must keep a clean sheet, I have to question the timing. Fabianski is not exactly a confidence inspiring deputy, and it's no co-incidence that he hasn't recorded a single minute of league of Champions League football yet this season.
There is some potential good news though as it is rumoured that Gibbs may well be back from his latest 2-3 weeks out and could play.
I think this game, more than any other is an opportunity for the players to show just how good a team spirit and mental strength we actually have at the club. I've been quite critical of the players recently because I genuinely don't believe that Wenger can be held accountable for everything. Yes he picks the team and yes he chooses the tactics. But once the players get on the pitch they have a responsibility to carry out his instructions. There's no way Wenger sends his players out and says "Right guys, tonight I want you to play badly, give the ball away lots and defend like you're scared of the 18 yard line." Likewise there's no way he pulls Theo and Giroud to one side before a game and says "Forget being sharp up front tonight. I want you to be as blunt as a eunuch's cock!"
It just doesn't happen.
The players are not giving their all right now, and that's where the mental strength comes in. It's easy to let your head drop after a loss, the trick is picking it back up again. Wenger defends the team like no other manager in the world. He shoulders the blame and takes all the criticism. That's admirable in a way but he's entitled for some loyalty and payback from the players for that.
Tonight would be the perfect opportunity for them to show whether they're up for the fight.
If we're going to have a real go at Bayern then I think our line up and formation need tweaking. We need to set our stall out to attack from the first whistle to the last, and when we don't have the ball we need to press as a single unit all the way up the pitch.
For what it's worth I'd like to see us line up like this tonight:-
Flappy-Handski
Gibbs Koscielny Mertesacker Jenkinson
Arteta
Oxlade-Chamberlain Cazorla
Rosicky
Walcott Giroud
I think that Giroud and Walcott could dovetail perfectly. Giroud wins more than his fair share of flick ons but no one ever gambles and tries to run in behind to capitalise on them. If Walcott started up top then that would be his responsibility, one flick on and Theo would be clear - and there's no one gonna catch him if he does.
I'm happy enough to let Arteta sit deep and pull the strings, when we have possession then Cazorla and Ox can push wider to stretch their defence but when defending they can tuck in and make the midfield more compact.
Rosicky is more than capable of picking a key pass, but more importantly has more energy than Cazorla when harrying the opposition into giving the ball back. He also loves to drive directly at defenders in the way that Jack does and this can result in a lot of free kicks for us around the edge of the Bayern penalty area.
Options from the bench could be Coquelin - if we manage to get the goals we need he's great at protecting the back four. Gervinho - no one has a clue what he's going to do next, not even himself. Ramsey - because there are still 3 positions he hasn't played yet this year so he might as well get the full house, but also because he has great energy levels and can replace Rosicky if the Little Maestro runs out of steam.
But here's the thing. I'm not stupid enough to think that Wenger will even consider this. We'll likely play our usual 4-3-3. Vermaelen will play because he's the captain. Theo will be out wide. Cazorla will be behind Giroud and Gervinho will likely start wide left.
Personally I'm not sure what tactical changes we'll see tonight, but I don't expect any major surprises.
As long as the players go out and give it everything then I'll be happy. If we win 1-0 and hit the post a few times, or Neuer has a stormer then we can't ask for much more. If, however our strongest team goes out there and capitulates then I think it will speak volumes about the Boss' ability to get the best out of his players. At the end of the day motivation is only partly the manager's responsibility. A player who doesn't want to play is not going to perform well no matter who his manager is. More importantly though, any player who can't motivate themselves to get excited about a Champions League doesn't deserve to be paid a salary. Particularly when a good performance can lead to a lucrative quarter-final spot.
Actually my personal opinion is that a player who can't motivate himself EVERY time he pulls on the shirt should be sacked. Poor performances are part and parcel of the game. Every player has them, however the one thing that cannot be excused is lack of effort. If you lose the ball then you damn well go and get it back. Most fans can accept a poor performance if you at least show that you worked your bollocks off. Players that don't work for the team don't deserve to play for the team.
A lot of Arsenal fans will be on the edge of their seats this evening and rightly so. The knock on effect if we pull off this Houdini-esque escape will be massive. It's unlikely, I get that but nothing is impossible. We are a team capable of scoring goals, unfortunately we're leakier at the back than a nappy with a hole in it! Thankfully tonight is all about goals scored and less about goals conceded. We need to score a minimum of 3. But if we can get a 4th then Bayern have to come back with 2 of their own. Away goals could very well come into play tonight. I, for one, will probably be biting my nails well into the wee small hours of the morning (remembering that because of the time difference the match kicks off at midnight here!) But there's a part of me that refuses to believe that this tie is over. It maybe the deadly man-flu and all the lemsips talking but I think we have a real chance of we can surprise them and attack right from the start.
Rounding up some news pieces that have been doing the rounds over the last couple of weeks, apparently we've been linked with around 40 or so players. Including 32 never-heard-of French teenagers!! We're also bringing back Nasri if reports are to be believed. Also Lukas Podolski is leaving. He's going to Roma in a straight swap for several pizzas and a tub of their finest Gelato!
I honestly wonder whether journalists actually do any journalism these days. All that seems to happen is one paper makes up a story which the other papers pick up on and just re-hash over and over again. Rooney is leaving Man Utd for 20m. Falcao is joining Man City for 50m. Cavani is heading to Milan. Messi is joining Rotherham United, Iniesta will be captaining Burton Albion and Pepe is hanging up his football boots in order to pursue a budding Ice Hockey career with the San Jose sharks! I mean really???
Anyway guys and gals, that's all I have for you today. Back tomorrow with a, no doubt, scathing attack on why we got our asses handed to us later tonight.
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
Monday, 4 March 2013
Spuds reaction
Good morning fellow Gooners. Yids and Stoke fans can all FUCK OFF today. In fact anyone who is not a devoted lover of all things Arsenal can also go and fuck themselves with a large gardening implement.
If there's one thing I'll never understand it's a football fan.
I watched the game last night in a crowded bar in Dubai. At least I think I did. I can't remember a lot of it but I have a stinking headache and a mad craving for a full English breakfast as a souvenir of the messiness.
What I can remember though frustrates the living crap out of me.
Arsenal fans, screaming at their own players. Calling them shit, useless or wank. From what I could make out the screams were mostly aimed at Ramsey and Giroud.
You want to know which player gave the ball away the most yesterday? Jack Wilshere.
Who was the least involved player on the pitch? (in terms of contribution via passes, interceptions, tackles, headers, chances created or shots) Theo Walcott.
Who was the player standing around whilst spurs threaded simple passes right through the middle of our defence? Thomas Vermaelen. Twice.
Who gave away the most free kicks? Mikel Arteta.
None of the above players got anywhere near the abuse that Ramsey and Giroud did. I just can't get my head around it.
I also don't understand how so-called fans don't make an effort to understand the game for themselves. Or at least the way we play it.
Arsenal employ a possession-based style of football. To the layman that means we try to keep the ball more than our opponents.
That means sometimes we have to go from left to right or vice versa. It also means that not every pass we make can be forward.
If you're attempting to keep the ball and there are no forward passes on, then you go back and start again. Sometimes you have to play the way you're facing. And sometimes you're facing backwards.
I don't understand players being criticised for keeping possession rather than giving it away by attempting a pass where one isn't on.
Anyway, that's my rant for this morning. Or at least one of them. The second rant goes to my buddy who kept forcing me to drink Jagerbombs. On a school night! You BASTARD!!!!
Something else that happened last night was I may have finally become famous. Upon being introduced to a fellow fan, his reaction was "Are you that blogger?? Very interesting!"
I'm not going to lie it was always going to be down hill from there.
So onto the match itself.
Prior to kick-off much was made of Arsenal's need to keep Bale quiet, and also Arsene's quote about how we don't plan for anyone.
As it happened, apart from his goal I don't remember Bale doing much of anything? I wouldn't say we kept him quiet per se, but he certainly didn't run the show.
Now, before I get into a blow-by-blow uber-analysis of the game I'm going to issue a warning.
I THOUGHT ARSENAL WERE THE BETTER TEAM LAST NIGHT.
There. I've said it. I don't regret it. If you see things differently guess what? That's OK. Opinions are like arseholes, we've all got them. I don't mind if you disagree with me. I won't be offended. If you want to debate with me later that's cool too.
The reason I wanted to do the warning is that there are people who can't accept an opinion which is different to their own. Those are the people who may not want to read any further.
I genuinely thought the better team lost yesterday. Am I biased? Yes of course. Am I trying to look at it objectively? Yes again. The better team lost.
We started well. We created a couple of half chances and were it not for poor final balls or poor touches we could have been two up in the first 15 minutes.
Olivier Giroud looks to have lost a bit of confidence because when he was slid through early on he took too much time to pull the trigger, allowing Dawson to get in a block.
Theo raced away down the right and, in typical Theo fashion, opted to drill the ball across the box rather than looking up to see that the ball to the back post would have been a far better option. I must confess I get more and more frustrated with Walcott with each passing game. He has talent, he has pace. Combine the two and you get a pretty frightening guy to play against. But he just doesn't show up often enough. Yesterday he hid away. He wasn't up for the game and he didn't want the ball. How do I know? Because if you make a run towards a defender rather than away from him, you're pretty much asking not to be passed to. Now that Theo has signed his contract it seems he doesn't have to prove himself. That disappoints me greatly.
The first half looked like it would finish 0-0. Then two things happened. In fact two identical things happened twice. We were well on top when Thomas Vermaelen decided abandon his defensive duties twice in 5 minutes. Firstly allowing Bale to run off the back of him, then Lennon. The goals were as similar as they were frustrating to watch.
For Vermaelen this is beginning to become something of a regularity. Switching off at the wrong moment costs goals. Vermaelen switches off far too often. When paired with Koscielny we get away with it because he has the pace to get around and cover. But Mertesacker doesn't.
I've said before that there isn't any cohesion in defence. The players don't, or can't, get on the same wavelength. Nacho should have been screaming at Vermaelen to watch the run not the ball. Vermaelen should have been in line with the rest of defence and Szczesny should have been screaming at all of them to stay in line. None of that happened. As a result Spurs went two goals up when they should have been two down!
Second half was pretty much more of the same. Spurs didn't really threaten to score. Mertesacker pulled one back on 50 minutes, a goal which actually came of the Monkey's face before beating Lloris. I actually hope it goes down as an own goal on Bale. Partly because he's a cunt, but also just to remind him that he's not in the same league as Messi or Ronaldo - when was the last time either of those scored an own goal???
From then on we pressed higher and forced a lot of errors but we lacked the killer ball. The best chance fell to Ramsey (playing at full back by this point) who dragged it wide off the heel of Benoit Assou-Ekotto. some will argue Ramsey should have done better - honestly I'd agree, he should have taken the shot sooner, a player like Cazorla or Walcott probably would have but Ramsey isn't a striker, or a goal-scorer of any variety so knowing when to pull the trigger isn't something he's got in his locker.
Either way, yes he should have done better, no it does not mean he's shit!!!
There's an inherent problem at Arsenal when we're a goal down. We're too reserved with the ball. When most teams are chasing a game the hit longer shots and pump the ball into the box hoping for knockdowns, failed clearances or rebounds. It's not an exact science. We don't do this. We have players capable of hitting long shots - Cazorla, Arteta, Wilshere, Giroud, Podolski, Rosicky. All players who can score from outside the box. None of them even attempted it.
Why??? Why are we so frighteningly impotent outside the area?
If I was a professional footballer (and try to suspend your disbelief here) and my team were a goal down I'd be hitting shots from pretty much anywhere. All it takes is a deflection, or a save which isn't properly cleared and you're pretty much back in the game. I find it hard to believe that Arsene Wenger sends the players out with the instruction to not shoot;
Steve Bould was visibly pissed off at the amateur hour defending last night. He looked like he wanted to choke the life out of someone. And who could blame him. If the rumours are true about Bould's lack of involvement in team affairs, then I imagine he must be going crazy thinking what he could be doing to improve them.
I don't know whether Bould does or doesn't coach. I don't know whether he is or isn't allowed to have an input into the tactics or the way we set up. I don't know if we practice defending or not.
What I do know is that whatever it is we ARE doing, simply isn't working.
I'm not going to sit here and apportion blame for the poor results and the poor performances. There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said before. It's the board's fault, it's Wenger's fault, it's the players' fault, it's the coaches' fault, it's the fans' fault. All I know for sure is that it's SOMEONE'S FUCKING FAULT AND I WANT THEM TO OWN UP AND FUCK OFF OUT OF THE CLUB!!!
A summary of the game in numbers form comes from @7amkickoff and makes some interesting reading :-
If there's one thing I'll never understand it's a football fan.
I watched the game last night in a crowded bar in Dubai. At least I think I did. I can't remember a lot of it but I have a stinking headache and a mad craving for a full English breakfast as a souvenir of the messiness.
What I can remember though frustrates the living crap out of me.
Arsenal fans, screaming at their own players. Calling them shit, useless or wank. From what I could make out the screams were mostly aimed at Ramsey and Giroud.
You want to know which player gave the ball away the most yesterday? Jack Wilshere.
Who was the least involved player on the pitch? (in terms of contribution via passes, interceptions, tackles, headers, chances created or shots) Theo Walcott.
Who was the player standing around whilst spurs threaded simple passes right through the middle of our defence? Thomas Vermaelen. Twice.
Who gave away the most free kicks? Mikel Arteta.
None of the above players got anywhere near the abuse that Ramsey and Giroud did. I just can't get my head around it.
I also don't understand how so-called fans don't make an effort to understand the game for themselves. Or at least the way we play it.
Arsenal employ a possession-based style of football. To the layman that means we try to keep the ball more than our opponents.
That means sometimes we have to go from left to right or vice versa. It also means that not every pass we make can be forward.
If you're attempting to keep the ball and there are no forward passes on, then you go back and start again. Sometimes you have to play the way you're facing. And sometimes you're facing backwards.
I don't understand players being criticised for keeping possession rather than giving it away by attempting a pass where one isn't on.
Anyway, that's my rant for this morning. Or at least one of them. The second rant goes to my buddy who kept forcing me to drink Jagerbombs. On a school night! You BASTARD!!!!
Something else that happened last night was I may have finally become famous. Upon being introduced to a fellow fan, his reaction was "Are you that blogger?? Very interesting!"
I'm not going to lie it was always going to be down hill from there.
So onto the match itself.
Prior to kick-off much was made of Arsenal's need to keep Bale quiet, and also Arsene's quote about how we don't plan for anyone.
As it happened, apart from his goal I don't remember Bale doing much of anything? I wouldn't say we kept him quiet per se, but he certainly didn't run the show.
Now, before I get into a blow-by-blow uber-analysis of the game I'm going to issue a warning.
I THOUGHT ARSENAL WERE THE BETTER TEAM LAST NIGHT.
There. I've said it. I don't regret it. If you see things differently guess what? That's OK. Opinions are like arseholes, we've all got them. I don't mind if you disagree with me. I won't be offended. If you want to debate with me later that's cool too.
The reason I wanted to do the warning is that there are people who can't accept an opinion which is different to their own. Those are the people who may not want to read any further.
I genuinely thought the better team lost yesterday. Am I biased? Yes of course. Am I trying to look at it objectively? Yes again. The better team lost.
We started well. We created a couple of half chances and were it not for poor final balls or poor touches we could have been two up in the first 15 minutes.
Olivier Giroud looks to have lost a bit of confidence because when he was slid through early on he took too much time to pull the trigger, allowing Dawson to get in a block.
Theo raced away down the right and, in typical Theo fashion, opted to drill the ball across the box rather than looking up to see that the ball to the back post would have been a far better option. I must confess I get more and more frustrated with Walcott with each passing game. He has talent, he has pace. Combine the two and you get a pretty frightening guy to play against. But he just doesn't show up often enough. Yesterday he hid away. He wasn't up for the game and he didn't want the ball. How do I know? Because if you make a run towards a defender rather than away from him, you're pretty much asking not to be passed to. Now that Theo has signed his contract it seems he doesn't have to prove himself. That disappoints me greatly.
The first half looked like it would finish 0-0. Then two things happened. In fact two identical things happened twice. We were well on top when Thomas Vermaelen decided abandon his defensive duties twice in 5 minutes. Firstly allowing Bale to run off the back of him, then Lennon. The goals were as similar as they were frustrating to watch.
For Vermaelen this is beginning to become something of a regularity. Switching off at the wrong moment costs goals. Vermaelen switches off far too often. When paired with Koscielny we get away with it because he has the pace to get around and cover. But Mertesacker doesn't.
I've said before that there isn't any cohesion in defence. The players don't, or can't, get on the same wavelength. Nacho should have been screaming at Vermaelen to watch the run not the ball. Vermaelen should have been in line with the rest of defence and Szczesny should have been screaming at all of them to stay in line. None of that happened. As a result Spurs went two goals up when they should have been two down!
Second half was pretty much more of the same. Spurs didn't really threaten to score. Mertesacker pulled one back on 50 minutes, a goal which actually came of the Monkey's face before beating Lloris. I actually hope it goes down as an own goal on Bale. Partly because he's a cunt, but also just to remind him that he's not in the same league as Messi or Ronaldo - when was the last time either of those scored an own goal???
From then on we pressed higher and forced a lot of errors but we lacked the killer ball. The best chance fell to Ramsey (playing at full back by this point) who dragged it wide off the heel of Benoit Assou-Ekotto. some will argue Ramsey should have done better - honestly I'd agree, he should have taken the shot sooner, a player like Cazorla or Walcott probably would have but Ramsey isn't a striker, or a goal-scorer of any variety so knowing when to pull the trigger isn't something he's got in his locker.
Either way, yes he should have done better, no it does not mean he's shit!!!
There's an inherent problem at Arsenal when we're a goal down. We're too reserved with the ball. When most teams are chasing a game the hit longer shots and pump the ball into the box hoping for knockdowns, failed clearances or rebounds. It's not an exact science. We don't do this. We have players capable of hitting long shots - Cazorla, Arteta, Wilshere, Giroud, Podolski, Rosicky. All players who can score from outside the box. None of them even attempted it.
Why??? Why are we so frighteningly impotent outside the area?
If I was a professional footballer (and try to suspend your disbelief here) and my team were a goal down I'd be hitting shots from pretty much anywhere. All it takes is a deflection, or a save which isn't properly cleared and you're pretty much back in the game. I find it hard to believe that Arsene Wenger sends the players out with the instruction to not shoot;
"Good luck out zere tonight. And rememberrrr don't shoot until you get to ze 6-yard line"
"But boss, won't we have a better chance of winning if we shoot more?"
"Mikel, you leave ze sinking to me. I am ze managerrrrr, you are just ze playerrrrrrs. You will do as you are told, ozerwise you will be sent to play for Man City!!"It just doesn't make sense! But here's the thing, even if it was true, even if Wenger did give instructions not to shoot, surely there are players in the squad who are given a creative license to do the unexpected? Surely some players are allowed to pass left rather than right, play a chipped through ball rather than a ground pass? Shoot instead of pass? It seems not. It seems that there is only one way. Wenger's way.
Steve Bould was visibly pissed off at the amateur hour defending last night. He looked like he wanted to choke the life out of someone. And who could blame him. If the rumours are true about Bould's lack of involvement in team affairs, then I imagine he must be going crazy thinking what he could be doing to improve them.
I don't know whether Bould does or doesn't coach. I don't know whether he is or isn't allowed to have an input into the tactics or the way we set up. I don't know if we practice defending or not.
What I do know is that whatever it is we ARE doing, simply isn't working.
I'm not going to sit here and apportion blame for the poor results and the poor performances. There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said before. It's the board's fault, it's Wenger's fault, it's the players' fault, it's the coaches' fault, it's the fans' fault. All I know for sure is that it's SOMEONE'S FUCKING FAULT AND I WANT THEM TO OWN UP AND FUCK OFF OUT OF THE CLUB!!!
A summary of the game in numbers form comes from @7amkickoff and makes some interesting reading :-
In conclusion, they didn’t outpass us (241 to 414), didn’t have more play in the final third (27 to 104), didn’t really even have to tackle, beat Arsenal in interceptions by just 1, didn’t out-dribble Arsenal (6/17 to 11/25), didn’t win many aerial duels (14/40), did a terrible job clearing their lines (16/33 v. 12/18), and yet they won. Because Arsenal didn’t defend the basics at all on the first goal and then decided to go on vacation for the second.
Oh, and it didn’t help that Giroud had Arsenal’s only real shot on goal, and that it came in the first half (come on, Mertesacker was trying to flick across the box), that Theo only managed 28 touches, that Wilshere dribbled 6/8 but was only 73% in his passes and 58% from the final third, and that in the end, Arsenal were reduced to a poor imitation of Blackburn Rovers as they lumped the ball up to their big center back-cum-center forward.
Once again Arsenal made a pile of shit smell like a rose.
We were treated, post-game, to yet another Arsene Wenger press conference featuring the words 'team spirit', 'mental strength' and 'better team'. Blah blah fucking blah! If we have such great mental strength then why do we keep ending up on the losing end of the scoreline. If we are the better team almost every week then we really ought to be top of the league. If we have such great team spirit then why does it seem that the players only met for the first time yesterday?
I really didn't want today's blog to be about Wenger and his failings. I didn't want it to be so negative. I didn't want to focus on all our shortcoming (of which there are many). But last night's game was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
How much more of this are we expected to put up with? The board think they've done us all a massive favour by freezing season ticket prices. Yipee! Let's celebrate another season of mediocrity. But at least it won't cost more next year!
Apparently the club is the subject of a 1.5bn pound take over bid from a consortium of Qatari and Emirati businessmen. If this was remotely true then I'd be quite excited about it. But I just can't see anyone wanting to pay a world record fee for a club with so many failings and shortcomings. The Glazers paid 800m for Manchester United, but they're a massive global brand and more importantly they're successful. No matter what scale you choose to judge them on. We, on the other hand, are average at best. Unless you judge us in terms of underachievement in which case we're pretty fucking special!!!
That's all I have for today, being at work with a raging hangover means I need more time than usual to get things done!!! Thankfully the powers that be think I have caught some kind of flu bug that's going around so I'm off the hook for binge drinking on a school night!!
Back tomorrow with, hopefully, a more upbeat outlook. But Now I have to attend to more pressing concerns like how to get hold of a bacon butty in a country that doesn't agree with the sale of pork products!!!
Follow me on twitter @thedesertgooner
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
WInter break in February???
Good afternoon fellow Gooners.
A strange thing happened today.
Two of my clients who have legally changed their names to Mr & Mrs Skywalker, have decided to set up a company in Dubai called Tattooine Inc.
I'm not sure why I thought of that, but the Star Wars fans amongst you may (or may not) find it amusing!
Anyway........................... Oh wait! I forgot. Any Stoke fans reading this? FUCK OFF! Ahhhhhh all better now.
Everton beat Oldham last night. This is not normally cause for any form of celebration. Or in fact worthy even of a mention. However it does have a huuuuuge impact on us.
You see Everton Vs Oldham was an FA Cup game. Everton's next game in the FA Cup is against Wigan and will take place on 9 March, which is around the time we were supposed to play them.
Since the FA Cup takes precedence over league games this means that as of right now we will have a 10 day window between the Spurs and Bayern Munich games!!
Therefore there can be no excuses of tired legs or burn out or any other dismissive that Arsene Wenger decides to pull our of his barrel of insane comments.
The press continues to wank themselves stupid over Gareth Bale, and now other Spurs players are joining in the group masturbation activities. Step forward Scott Parker who says that we'll be deflated because of Bale's goal against West Ham. Obviously bearing in mind that Arsenal is a big bouncy castle full of air!!
Here's the thing though. Spurs laboured to a 3-2 win that they never looked like getting until Big Sam screwed up again with a poor substitution. We destroyed West Ham in 10 minutes then sat back at the side of the pitch, sipping virgin daiquiris and reading FHM magazine. In fact is was pretty much only after our team had showered and gone home that West Ham even scored!!!
So yes Scott. Yes. We're deflated. We're torn apart that you scraped a win in the 17th minute of a 4 minute stoppage time period. We're distraught that you beat a team we destroyed in 10 minutes.
Anyone who is catching on that I don't really like Scott Parker should award themselves a prize right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him like I do Monkey Boy, but he's right up there with people that I don't want to give a Christmas card to.
What I'd rather do to Scot Parker is gather a paper bag full of turd. Place it on his doorstep. Set it on fire, ring his doorbell and watch him attempt to stamp out the fire. Then laugh as he gets shit all over his brand new Adidas Samba!!
Anyway on the Bale/Monkey Orphan situation, I'm not worried about him. If he plays behind a striker then Ramsey will shut him up. If he plays left wing then Sagna will put him in his pocket. That said I hope he scores on Sunday, since the last time he scored against us we spanked them 5-2.
I'm all for the omens and stuff!
There isn't actually much else to talk about today. It seems that Tony Pulis is still alive which is rather frustrating. I think I pulled him out of our "Death List" sweepstake at work so I'm hoping he pops off soon as the prize pot is quite high!
In other news there's a rumour circulating out of The Emirates that Dennis Bergkamp will be having a statue built in his honour. I'm happy about that but it does leave me wondering where the line will be drawn.
Will Ian Wright get one? Vieira? Pires? McLintock?
Who decides what statues we have and what goes into the decision making process?
Perhaps we should give one to the longest season-ticket holder?
How about the lady who has cleaned the kits for the last 20 years?
I jest, of course, but it's one of those crazy thoughts that's gonna have me thinking!
Since we can't do anything without Spurs copying they've also decided to follow the theme of immortalising their star players. However as they've only ever had one it was an easy decision as to who their only statue would be of................
Anyway guys and gals that's all I have for today.
Have a great day and I'll be back tomorrow with some more random drivel!!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
A strange thing happened today.
Two of my clients who have legally changed their names to Mr & Mrs Skywalker, have decided to set up a company in Dubai called Tattooine Inc.
I'm not sure why I thought of that, but the Star Wars fans amongst you may (or may not) find it amusing!
Anyway........................... Oh wait! I forgot. Any Stoke fans reading this? FUCK OFF! Ahhhhhh all better now.
Everton beat Oldham last night. This is not normally cause for any form of celebration. Or in fact worthy even of a mention. However it does have a huuuuuge impact on us.
You see Everton Vs Oldham was an FA Cup game. Everton's next game in the FA Cup is against Wigan and will take place on 9 March, which is around the time we were supposed to play them.
Since the FA Cup takes precedence over league games this means that as of right now we will have a 10 day window between the Spurs and Bayern Munich games!!
Therefore there can be no excuses of tired legs or burn out or any other dismissive that Arsene Wenger decides to pull our of his barrel of insane comments.
The press continues to wank themselves stupid over Gareth Bale, and now other Spurs players are joining in the group masturbation activities. Step forward Scott Parker who says that we'll be deflated because of Bale's goal against West Ham. Obviously bearing in mind that Arsenal is a big bouncy castle full of air!!
Here's the thing though. Spurs laboured to a 3-2 win that they never looked like getting until Big Sam screwed up again with a poor substitution. We destroyed West Ham in 10 minutes then sat back at the side of the pitch, sipping virgin daiquiris and reading FHM magazine. In fact is was pretty much only after our team had showered and gone home that West Ham even scored!!!
So yes Scott. Yes. We're deflated. We're torn apart that you scraped a win in the 17th minute of a 4 minute stoppage time period. We're distraught that you beat a team we destroyed in 10 minutes.
Anyone who is catching on that I don't really like Scott Parker should award themselves a prize right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him like I do Monkey Boy, but he's right up there with people that I don't want to give a Christmas card to.
What I'd rather do to Scot Parker is gather a paper bag full of turd. Place it on his doorstep. Set it on fire, ring his doorbell and watch him attempt to stamp out the fire. Then laugh as he gets shit all over his brand new Adidas Samba!!
Anyway on the Bale/Monkey Orphan situation, I'm not worried about him. If he plays behind a striker then Ramsey will shut him up. If he plays left wing then Sagna will put him in his pocket. That said I hope he scores on Sunday, since the last time he scored against us we spanked them 5-2.
I'm all for the omens and stuff!
There isn't actually much else to talk about today. It seems that Tony Pulis is still alive which is rather frustrating. I think I pulled him out of our "Death List" sweepstake at work so I'm hoping he pops off soon as the prize pot is quite high!
In other news there's a rumour circulating out of The Emirates that Dennis Bergkamp will be having a statue built in his honour. I'm happy about that but it does leave me wondering where the line will be drawn.
Will Ian Wright get one? Vieira? Pires? McLintock?
Who decides what statues we have and what goes into the decision making process?
Perhaps we should give one to the longest season-ticket holder?
How about the lady who has cleaned the kits for the last 20 years?
I jest, of course, but it's one of those crazy thoughts that's gonna have me thinking!
Since we can't do anything without Spurs copying they've also decided to follow the theme of immortalising their star players. However as they've only ever had one it was an easy decision as to who their only statue would be of................
 |
| Spurs' best ever player? |
Anyway guys and gals that's all I have for today.
Have a great day and I'll be back tomorrow with some more random drivel!!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Thanks for nothing George Michael!!
Good morning fellow Gooners!
It's been a while since I last paid tribute to Stoke's merry band of Orc followers. So without further ado: FUCK OFF!!!!
Ahem............. anyway moving swiftly on........ What's that? I'm only jealous because you have 6 fingers per hand? You can swim faster than me because of the webbed feet? Stoke is the Las Vegas of Britain??? Behave son!
Well, well, well.
It's been a while since I last paid tribute to Stoke's merry band of Orc followers. So without further ado: FUCK OFF!!!!
Ahem............. anyway moving swiftly on........ What's that? I'm only jealous because you have 6 fingers per hand? You can swim faster than me because of the webbed feet? Stoke is the Las Vegas of Britain??? Behave son!
Well, well, well.
That could have been better.
Watching Wham last night, sorry I mean West Ham - damn TV acronyms, I thought they might have done us a favour. At 2-1 up I was sure of it. Then the worst possible thing happened. Sam Allardyce thought he was a football manager and made a substitution.........
When will Sam learn that he is, in fact, nothing but an obese sea mammal. He has no tactical know-how (unless you count "Get in there son! Hit him harder next time! Let 'em know you're around" which is less about tactics and more about maiming.) Sam's ethos is "If they can't walk they can't play football!"
So Big Sam made a sub and Wham, sorry West Ham, lost control of the game and eventually lost the game.
Monkey boy Bale scored again, twice. He's now better Messi and is third best all time player behind Maradona and Pele! In fact I'd be willing to bet that Jamie "Look at me I'm a cunt" Redknapp will say that very same thing in no time at all.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for credit where credit is due, but with Bale it seems that if he buys a pair of shoes the media will make them the best pair of shoes ever bought. No doubt he drives the fastest car ever and has the nicest house in the world.
Such a shame then that his parents aren't around to see his success. Apparently there's a third appeal from Spurs to allow the gorilla pen to be open on match days. It's been turned down twice for fear of escaping monkeys.
It also makes me laugh at all the "One man team" jibes we used to get from the Spurs fans. There's no doubt that they would be in the bottom half of the table were it not for Orangutan-boy himself.
I still think we're gonna dick on them on Sunday though.
What did surprise me though was Wham's, sorry West Ham's, inability to shift Bale onto his right foot. I mean, I'm not a professional footballer but I'd know to do that. Or at least to try. The Wham, DAMNIT! West Ham, defenders were happy enough to let him cut onto his left. Almost begging him to shoot!
Apparently news coming out of The Emirates this morning is that a plan has already been hatched to nullify the threat of Bale. Just before kick-off on Sunday we're going to send the subs up and down the touchline waving bananas and throwing them into the crowd. This should ensure that his concentration wanes and he spends the afternoon sat with the home fans picking fleas off them!
On a serious note though, how does one keep Bale quiet. He's no longer just a left winger. In fact last night he played more centrally, almost in behind Adebarndoor. If he plays there against us on Sunday we may have a problem. Firstly whilst Arteta has the intelligence to show him onto his weaker foot he most certainly doesn't have the pace to keep him there. We also don't want to waste Arteta's energy just tracking back, he needs to be able to pull the strings in midfield. Wilshere could probably match him for strength, and would no doubt put in a few tasty tackles on him (let's not forget that Wilshere can't stand Bale, and Bale is still a bit wary of him after the last shoving match when Bale put his tail between his legs and ran away crying!) but again, in a foot race Bale would have Wilshere all day long. Diaby is also no an option, since frankly he's wank! Actually no, that's not fair. Diaby is outrageously inconsistent and permanently injured!!
So how are we going to do it? Personally I think Ramsey is the man for the job. Stick him in midfield and tell him to stick to Bale like glue.
Here's why. International colleagues will always have an extra rivalry over and above the domestic stuff. Ramsey is probably the fittest Arsenal player in terms of pure stamina. He's not as quick as Bale, but he's definitely our fastest midfielder. He has heart and determination. He is gutsy. But above all, Ramsey just will not give up. Not once, not for even a second. Aaron Ramsey could be the way to spank the monkey (if you will).
Normally when you select an opposition to man mark you must come up with a second strategy. If you mark one guy out of the game you have to know where the other threats will come from. There is usually a second guy who can still make things happen. For instance in the past if we had marked Modric there was always Van Der Vaart. At Chelsea you can mark Hazard but then there's Mata, Oscar or Marin. Man City have Toure, Nasri, Silva or Aguero. Man Utd have RVP, Shrek, Scholes, Kagawa. There is always a second player capable of picking up the slack, which is why no one really goes all out to mark one player out of a game. However at Spurs there is such a gulf in class between Bale and his team mates that there may be something in this.
Who, after Bale, is capable of winning a game on his own? Who is capable of taking the game by the scruff of the neck? More importantly who was the last human Spurs player to win a man of the match?? Bale is lord of the Shite Hart Lane manor, everyone else is just a gardener!!
Apparently Hartlepool once made a monkey mayor. Not a real monkey I hasten to add, but the mascot of the club. I should also add that the person operating the monkey suit was not elected. Just the monkey.
They also hanged a monkey during the Napoleonic wars.
Point being : Gareth Bale is probably no welcome in the North East!
Arsene Wenger said yesterday that second place is not out of the picture. Many laughed. I didn't.
Why not? Why can't we finish second? Man City are on a run of poor form and are playing like they've already given up the race for the title. We're only 9 points behind. We overturned a bigger gap than that last year to finish ahead of Spurs! Have a little faith brothers and sisters. WE CAN STILL DO THIS!
Also yesterday Arsenal posted half-yearly profits of 17.8m pounds. We also announced cash reserves of 123.3m pounds. That's a shitload of money. Or roughly half of Wayne Rooney's annual prostitute bill.
Also announced in the report were our biggest expenditures:
12.4m for Mikel Arteta's hair gel.
1.6m for Chamakh's shisha bill.
5.5m spent on buying 'game worn football shirts' for Andre Santos' collection
1.2m to Nike for new zips for the puffer jackets
0.9m on new Calvin Kleins for Giroud to model in.
1.2m on a revolutionary teflon coating for Chez's gloves.
0.5m on the rose-tinted glasses Wenger wear whilst looking at Diaby.
0.1m for 'kick resistant' water bottles
0.2m severance pay for Steve Bould to "sit still and keep quiet"
0.25m for Ivan Gazidis' monthly head wax - to keep it oh so shiny
0.1m for Stan Kroenke's moustache combs.
13.8m for Abou Diaby's personal physician
Interesting stuff!!
Elsewhere Arjen Robben says Arsenal won't keep Wilshere is we don't start winning trophies. No shit Sherlock! But then Wilshere is not your common or garden footballer. He loves Arsenal in a way that only Tony Adams could really understand. I think Wilshere will be our captain in 2 years and he'll be the driving force behind taking the team forwards. Arjen Robben on the other hand is a ball-greedy fucktard who bears a resemblance to an extra from Star Trek. He also looks like a burnt, withered testicle! Wanker!
Well, that's all I have for you today. Tuesday is possibly my least favourite day of the week. Nothing ever seems to happen. It's the middle of the week here in the UAE meaning that you wake up realising that you're only halfway to the weekend! Still it could be worse. I could be waking up to realise that it's only the second day and it's god-damned freezing.
Thankful for small mercies and all that.
Have a great day wherever you are.
For a bit of fun why not suggest some more amusing ways that we spent money in the last half year. I'll pick a few good ones and post in tomorrow's blog along with your name!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
So how are we going to do it? Personally I think Ramsey is the man for the job. Stick him in midfield and tell him to stick to Bale like glue.
Here's why. International colleagues will always have an extra rivalry over and above the domestic stuff. Ramsey is probably the fittest Arsenal player in terms of pure stamina. He's not as quick as Bale, but he's definitely our fastest midfielder. He has heart and determination. He is gutsy. But above all, Ramsey just will not give up. Not once, not for even a second. Aaron Ramsey could be the way to spank the monkey (if you will).
Normally when you select an opposition to man mark you must come up with a second strategy. If you mark one guy out of the game you have to know where the other threats will come from. There is usually a second guy who can still make things happen. For instance in the past if we had marked Modric there was always Van Der Vaart. At Chelsea you can mark Hazard but then there's Mata, Oscar or Marin. Man City have Toure, Nasri, Silva or Aguero. Man Utd have RVP, Shrek, Scholes, Kagawa. There is always a second player capable of picking up the slack, which is why no one really goes all out to mark one player out of a game. However at Spurs there is such a gulf in class between Bale and his team mates that there may be something in this.
Who, after Bale, is capable of winning a game on his own? Who is capable of taking the game by the scruff of the neck? More importantly who was the last human Spurs player to win a man of the match?? Bale is lord of the Shite Hart Lane manor, everyone else is just a gardener!!
Apparently Hartlepool once made a monkey mayor. Not a real monkey I hasten to add, but the mascot of the club. I should also add that the person operating the monkey suit was not elected. Just the monkey.
They also hanged a monkey during the Napoleonic wars.
Point being : Gareth Bale is probably no welcome in the North East!
Arsene Wenger said yesterday that second place is not out of the picture. Many laughed. I didn't.
Why not? Why can't we finish second? Man City are on a run of poor form and are playing like they've already given up the race for the title. We're only 9 points behind. We overturned a bigger gap than that last year to finish ahead of Spurs! Have a little faith brothers and sisters. WE CAN STILL DO THIS!
Also yesterday Arsenal posted half-yearly profits of 17.8m pounds. We also announced cash reserves of 123.3m pounds. That's a shitload of money. Or roughly half of Wayne Rooney's annual prostitute bill.
Also announced in the report were our biggest expenditures:
12.4m for Mikel Arteta's hair gel.
1.6m for Chamakh's shisha bill.
5.5m spent on buying 'game worn football shirts' for Andre Santos' collection
1.2m to Nike for new zips for the puffer jackets
0.9m on new Calvin Kleins for Giroud to model in.
1.2m on a revolutionary teflon coating for Chez's gloves.
0.5m on the rose-tinted glasses Wenger wear whilst looking at Diaby.
0.1m for 'kick resistant' water bottles
0.2m severance pay for Steve Bould to "sit still and keep quiet"
0.25m for Ivan Gazidis' monthly head wax - to keep it oh so shiny
0.1m for Stan Kroenke's moustache combs.
13.8m for Abou Diaby's personal physician
Interesting stuff!!
Elsewhere Arjen Robben says Arsenal won't keep Wilshere is we don't start winning trophies. No shit Sherlock! But then Wilshere is not your common or garden footballer. He loves Arsenal in a way that only Tony Adams could really understand. I think Wilshere will be our captain in 2 years and he'll be the driving force behind taking the team forwards. Arjen Robben on the other hand is a ball-greedy fucktard who bears a resemblance to an extra from Star Trek. He also looks like a burnt, withered testicle! Wanker!
Well, that's all I have for you today. Tuesday is possibly my least favourite day of the week. Nothing ever seems to happen. It's the middle of the week here in the UAE meaning that you wake up realising that you're only halfway to the weekend! Still it could be worse. I could be waking up to realise that it's only the second day and it's god-damned freezing.
Thankful for small mercies and all that.
Have a great day wherever you are.
For a bit of fun why not suggest some more amusing ways that we spent money in the last half year. I'll pick a few good ones and post in tomorrow's blog along with your name!
Follow me on Twitter @thedesertgooner
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